Faithfulness
As the clock ticks down, I find myself taking time to reflect. It’s been ten years since our yes. Ten years of stepping out when there was nothing to step onto. Ten years of seeing God’s faithfulness go before us repeatedly. Ten years of saying yes to Jesus, even when it hasn’t made sense.
Ten years ago, we received the report that Esperanza didn’t need chemotherapy. Although the timeframe was uncertain, they didn’t believe something needed to be done immediately for the next several years.
We had a choice to make. Had we heard God or hadn’t we?
Rewinding a year prior, our family went to Hawaii on vacation. While in Hawaii, Bruce and I felt the Lord say we would return to Hawaii for an extended time. We had no clue what it meant, but when we returned to Washington, I started doing research. Were we to move there with one of our jobs? Were we to get a different job? Nothing was standing out. And yet we both knew we had heard the Lord speak.
We decided to fast and invite several others to our prayer time. We told them nothing about Hawaii but knew God was speaking. A month later, every person who had committed to praying had heard the words "mission and moving.” Bruce’s Dad had received a picture of us on an island.
Hmm, missions in Hawaii? The non-profit I worked for in Washington was a great organization, but it was definitely not a mission organization. So I began researching again and found a Family Discipleship Training School at YWAM Kona. The more I researched, the more it made sense. I had gone on multiple mission trips abroad and locally, but never with a family. And Bruce had done some local stuff, but again, never as a family. By this point, we had two small children and needed some extra training to figure out what being a missionary would look like with a family.
Soon, we started conversing with the YWAM team in Kona and received several more confirmations. God was directing us to follow, there was no doubt. I, however, did NOT want to raise our support! I had no desire to do so. However, I soon relented because I knew the Lord was leading us, and I needed to trust Him. But after making this decision, we were attacked over and over again. We lost our 32-week-old son, my mom got sick, Bruce totaled our car, and now our daughter had a brain tumor.
What were we to do? Would we trust Him? We had only one monthly partner and enough funds for the first three months of our DTS. Yet we felt the Lord speaking to us to get rid of all our belongings and trust Him with the next season. We were not coming back; this new path was a complete life change.
Should we step out? Would He show up?
Now, ten years later, I’m struggling with the same question.
“Will the Lord show up as we step out?”
How silly is that? Did God speak, or did He not? That is all I need to hold onto. My faith is rising as I write these words because I know what the Lord said. He told us that our kids and I were to join my husband on this film project working with Aboriginals.
Will it be stretching?
YES!
Will we be uncomfortable?
YES!
Will God show up?
YES!
Have we been able to purchase plane tickets yet?
NO.
Have we rented out our home for the entire time we are gone?
NO.
Do I know where we will live when we arrive in Australia?
NO.
Is God still asking us to step out in faith?
YES.
It’s easy to step out when everything is in order, when all our ducks are in a row, and when everything makes complete sense. Yet will we step out when it makes absolutely no sense?
YES!
I want my answer always to be YES! For God’s ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. And when we allow Him to use us in our weakness, He gets greater glory.
Is it stressful walking out lives of faith? OH MY!! YES! I wish I were so calm and collected, but you can ask a handful of my newfound friends from our church in Pensacola, and they will be the first to tell you that I have cried from stress on more than one occasion.
And yet even as I write this and have experienced all sorts of emotions, I know who our Jesus is. We’ve seen Him over the last ten years be faithful! And we know we can trust Him, NO MATTER WHAT!! So, as I struggle with the uncertainties, I choose to remember. I choose to remember that He has been faithful in my life. And I can trust Him.
Are you in a season of stretching? Have you found yourself wondering how God is going to show up? Stir your faith! Remind yourself of the incredible things the Lord has done in your life. Thank Him for the ways He’s stepped in. If you don’t have your own stories yet, read or listen to other people’s stories in the Bible and from other Christians. Allow your faith to be stirred, and then step out. You will only have your own stories to tell if you step out of the boat. So, ask the Lord to show you ways to step out of your boat today.
